Much of the suffering we go through during times of change have to do with our cherished beliefs being bumped up against and challenged by the very situations we find ourselves in.  It can be so frightening that sub-consciously we fight letting it go because it is the death of something we have most likely been carrying aroud with us since we were quite young.  When we realize this fact, we can let go of the belief that is getting in our way and no longer useful to us.  Realizing that a belief must dissolve before it can be replaced by something greater can help us let go because we are ushering in a new birth within us.  Real and lasting change is unlikely if we pile a new awareness on top of a belief that does not line up with the new knowledge we are wanting to integrate into our lives.  The underlying belief will ultimately rise above,   creating much struggle and havoc within us.   Most importantly, we must not be boxed in within our perceptions.  Too much time can be spent on what do we “believe” as opposed to what do we “know” through our experience (inner eyes) in any given moment.  Personally, I do not hold fast to any belief I might have at the present moment because it can get in the way of my experiencing slight shifts in my imagination, that ultimately will create greater change within me than any outer information I may come across.  It seems to me that beliefs are not innate as they are everchanging and pliable.  My belief system is always up for re-evaluation and renewal. I want to be one of those rare people in the latter years of life, still full of light, love and laughter.  For this to happen we must be forever willing to challenge the status quo within us, releasing the old and allowing the new to find it's way to the surface.   I have been inspired by a dear friend that I have nicknamed, wise woman /wonder child.  To be simultaneously full of wisdom from our experiences and yet still see the world with the sense of wonder of a child seems to me a very appealing place to exist.

We pattern our life experiences to support our beliefs.  Studies show that our basic belief system is already established by the time we are three years old.  Throughout our lives we attract to us that which aligns with our belief system that was formed by our experiences with our families, society, etc.  By the time we reach adulthood most of us have been exposed to more negative messages than positive ones about ourselves.  Each time we end up in circumstances that confirm our early beliefs they become re-enforced in our sense of reality.  Our beliefs come in the form of thought and those thoughts determine everything we do in life.  Most of these beliefs have been passed down to us, pushed upon us by well meaning adults that think they are helping us be the way we are "supposed" to be. 

The great thing is as adults we have the ability to assess ourselves in a more accurate light and have the opportunity to change those beliefs that prevent us from living the life we would choose for ourselves.  If our current life was created by our thoughts - we can choose to think differently in order to change whatever area of our life we choose to.  A belief is just a thought we are having.  A belief is just an idea that you hold to be true.  Just because we are thinking it,  doesn't mean it is real.  That realization is a freeing one when we see that we have the power to change our mind about what we have believed.  We can choose beliefs to support who we are and want in our lives as opposed to sabotaging ourselves.

The first step to change, is awareness of what our beliefs are.  Sometimes we aren't even aware of the beliefs that may be seriously getting in the way of the life we truly desire because they are so deeply imbedded.  Beliefs restrict us, knowing empowers us. 

                                                                                                


We change the circumstances by changing the way we think and feel, what we believe, our self talk and then the action we take, thus the way we experience life.  Start to notice your thoughts and how you behave in stressful situations.  What are you thinking about yourself?  The belief is underneath the thought so ask yourself, "What belief am I holding onto that is triggering me to feel this way?"

Belief creates the thought....
Thought creates the feeling (emotion)....
Feeling (emotion) creates the experience....

Practice being the observer of your thoughts and feelings.  Remind yourself,  "This is only a thought (or feeling).  It doesn't mean it is real."  By being the observer you no longer feel controlled by the thought or emotion and yet you can allow it to be present and examine it.   The emotion itself loses its power over you so you can look for information within it.  Ask questions like,  " When have I felt this way before?  How true is this belief?  Who has told me this about myself in the past?   Who did I hear saying this about themselves while growing up?".   I'm not saying it won't be uncomfortable but stepping aside and observing makes it less so.

 You must look back to the original source to move forward.  Once you do this then you can focus on changing your self-talk.   Looking back to when, how and whom formed your basic beliefs is crucial.  Trying to create lasting change will be like pushing a boulder up a hill if you skip this crucial step.      

Part 2 continued



Wil shared with me that when he is having negative thoughts he asks himself this question...

WILL I BE HAPPY IF WHAT I AM THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW MANIFEST IN FORM?

......I wanted to pass Wil's gift on to as many people as possible.  It was very appropriate for me in the moment I read it, and it brought the "what if" thought trail I had been heading down this morning to a screeching halt.  I intend on including it in my personal daily life as well as with my clients.

Thanks again, Wil.