The Law of Attraction has been getting a great deal of attention lately due to the movie, The Secret.  The biggest thing this movie has accomplished is bringing this ancient knowledge to the mainstream of our society in a way that it is easily understood.  The Law of Attraction has been at work from the beginning of time.  People sensed how it had been at work, manifesting in their own lives even though they were not consciously aware of it.   

There is an excitement around this knowledge that is fascinating to see arise within the human spirit of others.  On a very deep level this is something we all know and have always known but the societal beliefs that have boxed us in have given way to a new vision of existence.  It is as if there is a collective sigh of relief in our society as we begin to realize we have permission to own our personal power and the freedom to choose the life we desire.   

Equipped with this new awareness to create, some are able to decide what they want and like a ship turn the course of their lives in the opposite direction.  Others focus on what they want and seem to struggle every step of the way.  What makes the difference in a person’s ability to work with the Law of Attraction?       

It is important to understand how the Law of Attraction works.  It’s a natural Law of the Universe, which means it always works; it is absolute.  It is unchanging and infinite. It is based on like attracts like.  We will draw into our lives that which we focus on the most.  We will attract what we really want and equally that which we don’t want based on the amount of energy, time and intensity of emotions we give to something.  The Universe doesn’t judge our request it simply responds to it.  If we want to create financial security but focus on our debt, we will continue to have debt.

The desires that we are truly clear on manifest more quickly because the Universe is responding with the same level of clarity.  When we go within and trust ourselves we connect to our inner knowing.  Decisions and choices made from this place allow us to know what we want with unwavering certainty.  If we experience both negative and positive emotions about a desire we send a mixed message to the Universe.  We get back the confusion we have sent out.  One of our biggest blocks in attaining our true desires is our beliefs systems instilled in us in childhood.  Sometimes these beliefs are subconscious and are only brought to our attention when we keep getting the same thing over and over again while intending to create something quite different than what we got.  This is a signal for us to take a closer look and discover the self limiting belief that is blocking us from our goals.      

These old beliefs take root while quite young, setting us up to attract to our lives that which brings greater validation to our beliefs.  We accumulate many experiences through the years that “prove” our beliefs to us.  For the most part this all happens without awareness and mostly from a place of creating by default.  In terms of the Law of Attraction it will take time to dismantle these more ingrained beliefs.  It can require patience to stay the course while continuing to hold our new vision.  These old beliefs can be released and replaced with new ones that are more in line with our true selves.

It is impossible to monitor your every thought but what you can do is pay attention to how you feel.  If you feel negative emotions, you are creating negativity.  It is a sign you are out of alignment with yourself.  Ask yourself if you need to change your attitude or if there is something in your life that you need to move away from or move towards.

Affirmations can be really powerful.  While stating your affirmation take time to really feel what you want.  Visualize yourself experiencing it in your life.  See it in the now because the future never arrives.  Imagine your desire as a seed you are sending out into the universe that is right now in this moment manifesting into reality.

Your desires will be blocked if you are attempting to escape what is today.  Accept today and allow the fact that what you are creating is in the process today as well as acceptance of the now.  Focus on what you want to create but be grateful for what you do have.  Count the blessings in your life.

Grasping at what you want or demanding it is another way of keeping you stuck. Grasping or demanding something comes from a strong feeling of NOT having it, which will keep you in the same place.  Be light hearted about what you want and stay in a positive state of mind.  Plant your seed and let it go out into the universe. 

If you are really solid in what you want the steps and action towards it will feel natural and exciting.  You might even feel a little scared but it won’t stop you.  The stronger you feel about your desire, the stronger support you will get from the universe.  The universe is one of least resistance and responds directly to your state of being.  Focus on what you want but not on the lack of it in your life.  Focus on what you want with expectancy and arms wide open.

You are the creator of your life.  Discover your true desires, dare to dream and explore new opportunities.  Understanding the Law of Attraction allows you to consciously draw to you the conditions and circumstances you most desire for your life. Trust the process and the universe will provide.  Change your thoughts and you will change your world. 

What is love and marriage all about?  Based on statistics, our society ranks pretty high in the clueless department.  Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce.  When we look around at the other fifty percent, how many of us say, “Yah, they have what I’m looking for?”  So, what is the purpose of love relationships?  Are we responsible for one another’s happiness?  Does love mean putting our partner’s feelings before our own?  What is a soul mate? 

Our earliest memories of romantic love are from childhood fairy tales.  Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White are all rescued by a handsome prince and live happily ever after. Cultural programming leads us to believe we need to find that one perfect person to be happy, so we can live happily ever after.  We are surrounded by nearly every form of media available telling us what love should look like.  Unfortunately, the Hollywood version of a soul mate has far more to do with fantasy than any real resemblance of true love.  Romantic love is a myth.  The characters on the screen often know little of one another, fall madly in love and magically overcome all obstacles in their path by the power of their love.  Many couples are walking down the aisle with unrealistic and impossible expectations.

 
We have visions of another person completing us and making us feel whole.  Romantic illusion gives us such a high because we feel loved by this person that seems perfect and thinks we are too.  It’s exhilarating.  When the high wears off we are left disillusioned with the real “imperfect” person. In love relationships it can be difficult to face or even acknowledge our feelings to ourselves, especially if we are holding onto the romantic illusion as if our very life depends upon it.  Many couples will attempt to ignore this reality until there is a huge elephant in the room, with no way around it.  In an attempt to subdue and avoid our own inner conflicts, we set out to persuade one another to change.  This rarely produces the results we are looking for, starting with gentle persuasion and escalating to power struggles.  Meanwhile the elephant has become so enormous that is all we can see.           

 
Recognizing the myth of romantic love in our culture is the opening up and opportunity for real growth within us.  Our ability to truly love comes from developing a deeper connection to ourselves.  There are no “Princes” or “Princesses” that can rescue us.  We must rescue ourselves by developing a relationship with our true self.  No one else can make us complete.  It comes from doing our own inner work to discover and love who we truly are.  That means paying attention to our thoughts and emotions to uncover what our personal values are, accepting our limitations as well as our strengths.  We can only love another to the extent that we love ourselves.  We cannot share with another that which we cannot find within us – it cannot be found outside of us.

 
Marriage and love relationships offer us our greatest opportunities for personal growth and to develop healthy interdependence with another person.  Instead of perceiving issues as conflicts or problems to be solved, we gain far more by asking ourselves, “What can I learn about myself from this situation?”  It gives us the opportunity to look at our defense system and limiting beliefs.  Instead of focusing on what your partner said, pay attention to how you are feeling in response to it.  When we are grounded in who we are, it provides us the ability to respond to one another instead of reacting to the situation.  We stop expecting the other person to make us happy.  There is tremendous freedom for both people when they stop pretending in order to please the other person.  If we realize it isn’t our job to make each other happy, we also realize we are not responsible for one another’s unhappiness.  Our emotions belong to us and no one else has the power to “make” us feel anything.

The more we know ourselves, the more capable we are to have a relationship far deeper and satisfying than any illusion of romantic love.  Authentic love provides us the acceptance and deep connection we long for with another.  We discover new ways of looking at our relationship concerns. It is always evolving and changing so we maintain a freshness, void of boredom. It is more mysterious and passionate than the illusion of love, filled with a sense of wonder and the unexpected (in a good way).  Authentic love never expects the one to give up who they are for the other.  Instead of feeling captured by our relationship we feel liberated because we are supporting and encouraging one another to be more fully who we are.  We can be a union of two whole individuals as we go through life.

I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options.  That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.

                                                                                                       Candice Bergen